Fight it!

It’s easy they say, to fight battles, grow up with people who would do anything to pull you down. I have never been able to put this out there on a public platform and exclusively expressed my feelings, but I’ve fought battles too, might be petty to some and might be relatable to the rest. Growing up with bickering and arguing parents, who loved you so much but the tiffs between them caused you to grow up with a fear that you’ll never find someone who’ll love you because there apparently is no such thing, but as an adult, I realised they’re just a bunch of experiences some tend to have and stop telling my mind and soul that it’ll be the same for me too.

The biggest battle I’ve fought would be shaming, when you’re not the prettiest girl in the crowd and nor the richest, you’re picked and bullied upon, almost eight years of having the only friend in school while the rest would either tease me till tears formed in my eyes or shifting seats/teams as soon as they realised I was part of theirs. Never been invited to my schoolmates birthday bashes, probably because they were too rich in comparison or I just didn’t fit in with them, I really don’t know what it was but growing up I realised how I just saved myself from being influenced into doing, and to some extent I’m grateful. It’s not easy, to come home every day feeling worthless and feel like you don’t matter, it was hard, really hard to be honest. Questioning your self-worth is the worst thing you can do to yourself, and the earlier you start doing it, the deeper it gets into your head. The biggest mistake you can do is rely on an individual more than required. Dating people and thinking it’s going to last forever? That’s absolute bullshit, won’t deny that there are a few who start their lives and grow old together, but honey, that’s very rare.

Giving your all to someone is the biggest mistake you can do, love is beautiful, but it’s important that you love yourself the most and before you love anyone else. Loving my heart out was the reason behind a terrible phase of my life, which was being clinical depression, crying yourself to sleep, constant negative thoughts, feeling like absolute crap and the constant ring of “I guess you don’t deserve it, Mahek” hitting you in the head constantly…

I think that was possibly the roughest phase of my life, but hey, scars are beautiful, they remind you of your growth, your strength and most importantly your worth. Everyone, who’s fought battles, minor or major, just know, in the end, it gets better, fights it, gets stronger and be proud of who you become. Most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF. Dance has helped me recover, perform and love myself that I don’t crave for someone to give me their shoulder anymore, of course, anyone would want that, but it’s not like I’m begging for it, I can stand on my feet, strong, ready to fight whatever comes my way. Dancing helped me, so find something that helps you out of it. Also, I’ve made many new friends, who endlessly love me, but some who’ve seen me through my thick and thin and have loved me regardless, pampered me, held me when I cried on their shoulder and shared the best moments of my life with me, for you guys, I’m forever grateful!